Common Reasons Why Siblings Fight a Lot

Common Reasons Why Siblings Fight a Lot

Sibling rivalry and fighting is very common, especially when siblings are young. While some level of conflict is normal, excessive fighting can create an unhealthy environment in the home. Here are some of the most common triggers that lead to siblings fighting frequently.

Competition for Attention and Affection

One of the biggest reasons why siblings fight is because they feel as though they have to compete for their parents’ attention and affection. When a new baby arrives, the older sibling may act out because they are no longer the centre of mum and dad’s attention. As they grow, siblings continue competing to see who is the “favourite” child. They may fight over who got praised more, who got yelled at less, or who got a bigger gift from mum and dad. Fighting is their way of competing for their parents’ love.

Sharing Toys and Belongings

Young children are still learning about sharing, so they often fight over toys, games, and other belongings. They each want to play with their favourite toy, so they lash out when a sibling tries to take it or play with it. Older siblings fight over borrowing clothes, video games, bikes and cars without permission. They get territorial and don’t want to share their possessions. Enforcing clear sharing rules and having duplicates of popular toys can help reduce fighting over belongings. Make a point of encouraging children to share their toys if you are fostering siblings

Different Personalities and Interests

Siblings often have very different personalities, interests, and needs. An outgoing child may clash with their shy sibling. One child may be very studious, while the other loves sports and games. Different schedules, friends, and activities mean they don’t understand each other, leading to fights. Parents should appreciate each child’s individuality and discourage comparisons to reduce this tension.

Seeking Attention

For some siblings, fighting or picking on each other is just an easy way to get attention from parents and peers. The child starts a fight over something minor because they want the drama and excitement. Parents should try to spot attention-seeking behaviours and respond with calm correction, rather than overreacting and rewarding the provocation with too much attention.

Jealousy and Resentment

A new sibling, a sibling’s accomplishments, or unequal treatment can provoke major jealousy between siblings. A younger sibling may resent the older one for being able to stay up later or do more things. An older sibling may be jealous of the attention a new baby gets. Resentment also builds if parents have double standards for chores, rewards and discipline between siblings. Consistent parenting and equal treatment helps prevent jealousy.

Clashing Personalities and Habits

Siblings may just have personality quirks and habits that annoy each other. A bossy sibling angers their more laid-back sister. A messy child infuriates their neat, organised brother. The early bird clashes with the night owl. Sometimes siblings’ personalities, communication styles and habits are just incompatible, leading to arguments and irritation. Parents can teach coping skills, compromise and respecting differences.

While some conflict is natural, parents should step in if fighting becomes excessive by setting rules, guiding better communication and reconsidering comparisons. With patience and wisdom, parents can help minimise frustrating sibling skirmishes.